so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
