Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
