Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
