Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
