Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
