Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
