Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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