Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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