How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
