And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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