Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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