This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
