sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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