Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
In America we eat man semen.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize