i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize