Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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