so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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