I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
