It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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