if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
