i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize