So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
