chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
A+ Viking dick
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
