well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
