i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
