Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
