He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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