I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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