4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize