I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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