i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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