thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Acid is not a monday night drug
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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