Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
