You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
