He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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