He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He felt like a one man threesome
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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