hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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