Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
