I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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