I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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