my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
