Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
