5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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