I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
