Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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