the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
