The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
