If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
