in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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