How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
