where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
