you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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