Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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