I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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