I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Drunk is a universal language darling
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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