Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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