if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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