two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
