I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
