Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize