so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize