Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
did you just send me my own nude
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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