i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
